Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

Go ahead, lie down on the couch, take a deep breath and say the following words slowly….”I am a Procrastinator. I wait until the last minute for everything.”

I hope you feel better. Acceptance is always the first step to recovery. But, remember, you are not alone. According to a 1969 survey by the American Association of Unfinished Business, there are over 1.8 million certified procrastinators in California and Utah…statistics they hope to update as soon as time permits.

Truth is, we all wait until the last minute, secretly believing we are going to change our ways…once we get around to it. In the meantime, we take naps, Google celebrities, E-mail jokes to our friends and, if we feel unusually motivated, maybe even do the jobs we were hired to do. Bottom line, we’re all procrastinators, for which Rush Imprint would sincerely like to say…thank you. And, at the risk of enabling your procrastination, we’d like you to know we’re here to help you get through your next “last minute” crisis.

And we can begin with our featured product of the day – the Frequently Called Numbers Magnet. With your company name, logo, address and phone number at the bottom, you will always be on the frequently called numbers list. Low cost makes this a great item any time of year. Best of all, you can keep one for yourself…and put Rush Imprint at the top of your “Emergency! I’ve waited to the last minute” procrastination list. Put it right behind the pizza guy. It’s the perfect antidote for Acute Delayed Response Syndrome.*

Now, I’m off to the South Dakota Plumbing Convention, where I’m unveiling my new Plumber’s Crack Promotional Tattoo. Until next time, remember the words my Great Aunt Esther once stole from Will Rogers, “Even if you’re on the right track…you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

*Warning: May be habit forming, causing euphoric sensations of well-being and happiness, along with increased night time darkness.