Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

In 1957, my Uncle Marty invented the beer cap suction cup so his friend Wayne could enjoy his daily twelve-pack, while he recuperated from the two broken arms he incurred while falling off the high beam. Of course, as family history would tell it, Uncle Marty’s invention was later bootlegged by his own brother Rex, who, with an investment from the Schlitz Brewing Company, perfected the beer bong that is so popular in colleges today.

Now, 49 years later, taking your rest and relaxation on the road has been turned into an art form…one that has been perfected even further by the Deluxe Cooler Chair. Made from a durable metal frame, with a deluxe padded seat, this sporty chair has two can/bottle holders and is collapsible for easy storage. It also comes with a front zippered pocket, heat sealed liner and adjustable padded shoulder strap. About all it doesn’t do, is pour your favorite beverage for you, but then isn’t that what children are for.

Well, I’m off to the Celebrity Impersonators Convention in Atlantic City, where my father will once again attempt to honor the late Jerry Garcia. Until next time, remember the words of Calvin & Hobbes, “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”