Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

I have a strict personal policy to always, without exception, accept any breath mint that is offered to me at any time. You never know if the offer is an act of politeness or a not so subtle hint and as a marketing man, I can’t afford to be caught with breath that is less than fresh. Talking is my game and if my audience catches a whiff of foul odor, I’ll never be able to deliver my message.

Halitosis or oral malodor, as it is known in scientific circles, can usually be taken care of with a swish of mouthwash or a quick brushing session. Unfortunately breath offenders don’t always know they are guilty since familiarity breeds, well familiarity. One option is to enlist a spouse or trusted friend to perform a breath test but in serious cases this could lead to divorce or demotion to a phone friend so I don’t recommend it. I read somewhere that you can test your own breath for freshness by licking the inside of your wrist, waiting for the saliva to dry and then smelling your wrist. Since it’s not always possible to lick yourself in public, perform this one at your own risk. This is why I strictly adhere to the aforementioned policy.

Let’s face it we, as a nation, are obsessed with fresh breath. All it takes is a trip to the grocery store to see how many different types of breath mints, gum and mouthwash are on display. One of the hottest forms of breath control on the market today are breath strips, making them the perfect promotional item to put your name on. They are fun to use, compact and come in two flavors. It’s the one give away no one in his or her right mind will turn down.

I’m off to the dentist for my semi- annual cleaning because I don’t want to ever hear The Donald say, “Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.” Ouch.