Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

The Academy Awards Show is this Sunday and my wife has never been more excited. She loves watching the Red Carpet arrivals and who can blame her? I especially enjoy Joan Rivers because chances are she will say exactly the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time and the results are usually uncomfortably hilarious. It’s kind of like watching “The Office” with famous people. This year’s show promises to be bigger than ever, literally. With the nomination of Jennifer Hudson and the growing popularity of America Ferrara (“Ugly Betty”) and Tyra Banks, bigger is indeed better, or at least just as beautiful.

It’s not that these ladies are fat, mind you. It’s just that compared to your average stick figure actress, these women are a lot closer in size to the average American woman. Since women have been forced to stare at endless photos of skinny super models and lollipops* like the Olsen twins, Nicole Ritchie and Kate Bosworth the emergence of actresses with actual bodies is pretty refreshing. I am pretty sure Mrs. Winston is not alone in her excitement to see women weighing more than one hundred pounds strutting their stuff down the red carpet; especially considering the average American woman weighs around 164 pounds. Incidentally, did you know that the human body has enough fat to produce seven bars of soap? I am prohibited by threat of divorce from revealing my wife’s weight but I can say that while she is less than the national average, she has never been accused of being a stick figure. That’s good news for me since I prefer a woman with a full body.

As you know, I have quite a few celebrity clients; just last week I helped Tony Danza’s former roommate design a marketing plan for his new homemade jam company. So, as you can imagine, I’m pretty dialed in. That’s how I was able to find out that a certain PR company is sending all the presenters and nominees giant personalized chocolate bars to encourage the trend toward fullness. Smart move. It’s a time honored marketing tradition that if something is hot, jump on board and if you discover a brilliant idea, steal it. That’s why I suggest you send your VIPs delicious chocolate bars that spell out your message. Rush Imprint has high quality Chocolate Bars in three sizes; your logo or personal message will get double exposure since both the bar an the wrapper can be customized. It’s the perfect promotional item when you want to ensure your message will be well received.

Mrs. Winston always says, “I never met a piece of chocolate I didn’t like.” I’m off to make some chocolate dipped strawberries; Mrs. Winston and I have a date to watch the Oscars together and it really puts her in the mood.