Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

Easter Sunday is coming up and Mrs. Winston is excited. Not only does she get to try out her new glazed ham recipe but she is also in charge of our neighborhood’s annual Easter egg hunt. She has been plotting all week, poring over maps of our neighborhood to find the best hiding places. I volunteered to dress up as the Easter Bunny or more precisely, my wife volunteered on my behalf, so I’m looking forward to Easter with a bit less enthusiasm. Especially since it’s supposed to be a warm day. Trust me, sweating inside a rented bunny costume while seven year olds stomp on your paws is not the most relaxing way to spend a Sunday.

The annual Easter egg hunt is a pretty big deal in our neck of the woods. The Winston household had been in high gear all week; egg decorating is serious business. I haven’t been able to enter the kitchen since Tuesday. My wife is not normally competitive but ever since Mrs. Cole declared herself the Queen of the egg hunt, whatever that is, my wife has been on a tear to dethrone the self-anointed royalty. She’s out for blood which is actually kind of scary, and somewhat exciting. I don’t know the whole story, but it has something to do with a rumor about Mrs. Cole making her nanny and housekeeper hide eggs all night, which apparently constitutes cheating. Personally, I don’t like to get involved with neighborhood politics but it’s important to Mrs. Winston so I feel a matrimonial duty to help her make the day a success.

To that end, I am providing all the kids with Whistle Key-Lights With Compasses. Truth be told, they probably won’t need a compass to find the eggs but I am fairly certain the whistles will be a big hit with the under eight set. Naturally the give-aways are branded because I can’t help but seize an opportunity to promote, it’s who I am. I suggest you take every opportunity to do the same; even it involves dressing like a rabbit and hopping around for the better part of the weekend.

Happy Easter and remember, “a little competition never hurt anyone” unless they happened to be wearing a bunny suit during a heat wave.