Taxing Matters


Virgil Winston:
Marketing Guru

I owe, I owe
So it’s off to work I go I owe, I owe So it’s off to work I go I owe, I owe, I owe, I owe, I owe, I owe!

My dad used to sing that little ditty in the car at the top of his lungs as he dropped us kids off at school on his way to work. Dad isn’t a particularly gifted singer but what he lacked in harmony, he made up for in enthusiasm. His parody of the Heigh-Ho song from “Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs” was one of his favorites so he sang it a lot. I’m convinced that song was one of the main reasons my brothers and sisters and I are all card carrying workaholics but that’s another story. Most days I didn’t mind the singing but it was always kind of embarrassing when he sang on carpool day when Timmy Stringer was riding with us. Not only did he sing loudly and off key, but Timmy’s dad didn’t work at all so my dad would usually find himself mid song when he’d remember Timmy was in the car. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, or cause little Tim to ask a bunch of awkward questions, Dad would start making up weird lyrics about food stamps and unemployment insurance, which would lead to lots of eye rolling in the back seat and a punch in the arm from Timmy.

I found myself humming that almost forgotten tune from my youth today for a slightly different reason. I received a rather unsavory surprise in the form of a phone call from my accountant; I owe a bundle in taxes. I made quite a bit more money last year than in previous years (my book is selling like hotcakes) and that extra income means that the Feds want a bigger piece of my pie. Mind you, I’m not complainging about having a profitable year but like most people; parting with my hard earned cash hurts. As I drove to my accountant’s office to pick up my tax documents, I found myself humming, and then singing the “I owe” song at the top of my lungs and I have to admit, it made me smile.

I decided to look on the bright side and turn my loss into a win and convinced my accountant to order 300 Dollar Sign Stress Relievers to hand out next tax season. Forking over bundles of cash has a way of making even the most Zen person a little testy so a little stress relief is in order. He thinks it’s a humorous ways to get new business and remind his clients that hiring a good accountant is the best stress relief money can buy. Personally, I prefer a massage or a Caribbean vacation but a good chuckle works well in a pinch. While it’s true that we can’t escape paying taxes, we can at least have a bit of fun and remember that it beats the other thing we can’t avoid.

The good news is Uncle Sam gave everyone an extra day so you have until April 17th to mail in your forms. I don’t know about you but I’m not taking any chances and am heading to the post office now. With any luck, I’ll get in just before midnight.