Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

The Fourth of July is less than two weeks away and America is confused. As you probably know, the 4th falls on a Wednesday this year, which makes planning a weekend getaway more challenging than usual. Do you take off the weekend before and head back to the office on Thursday? Or do you hit the road Tuesday night, driving all night, so you can “enjoy” the holiday? Is it even feasible to have a two-day workweek? If the answer is no, do you simply work all week and only take Wednesday off to honor our country’s Independence? The possibilities are endless…and boggling. It’s enough to make you want to skip the holiday altogether. Well, almost.

One thing is certain; you will probably attend at least one celebratory barbeque. There will be fireworks to enjoy, horseshoes to throw and Frisbees to toss. And of course, there will be eating…lots of eating. Did you know that the average American is expected consume 2.5 hotdogs, one cheeseburger, a pound of potato salad and a quart of onion dip this July 4th? All that eating can only mean one thing…drinking. The average American will guzzle 5 sodas, 2.5 beers and a half a wine cooler while attending an average of three barbeques and/or pool parties.

With temperatures expected to reach as high as 90 degrees, keeping cold drinks cold, is not always easy. That’s why you need to come prepared with the Patriotic Bottle Coolie. It’s designed to snugly fit over bottles with plenty of room for your logo or promotional message. Let’s face it; nothing says American Independence like branding. If you’re smart, you’ll imprint your name on a couple dozen coolies and bring them for your fellow revelers. The lucky recipients will thank you for your thoughtfulness and you’ll be remembered long after the last fireworks fizzle.

Well, I’m off to visit my voice coach. I am supposed to sing the Star Spangled Banner before the big fireworks show next week and I’m way out of practice. Until next time, remember, “Life without liberty is like a promotional key chain without a logo.”