Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

From time to time, my marginal Internet celebrity status affords me the opportunity to attend fun, Hollywood-type events. Recently, I was invited to the Comedy Central Roast of former rapper and current reality star, Flavor Flav. For those of you not familiar with Mr. Flav’s particular brand of entertainment, I strongly recommend you set your TiVo to record his highly watchable (think train wreck) television program, Flavor of Love, a show in which the hero attempts to meet his soul mate by “dating” twenty different “ladies” who vie for his attention by wearing too small tops and slapping, kicking and spitting on each other.

Since I was a fan of his craziness, I was looking forward to what promised to be an entertaining evening. Flav didn’t disappoint. He was joined on the dais by the likes of Jimmy Kimmel, Ice-T, Snoop Dogg and Carrot Top, a motley crew to be sure. The jokes and insults poured forth like gin and juice on a hot day, and a great time was had by all. I enjoyed the show, but was dismayed to discover that there were to be no gift bags given out to attendees after the event. Regular readers know that I attend most events for the sole purpose of nabbing free, branded merchandise. I was hoping for a Law & Order: SVU T-shirt or Jimmy Kimmel Live! Coaster set—at the very least. Alas, it was not to be.

I heard that the roasters all received Giant Pilsners that said, “I roasted Flavor Flav and I all I got was this beer glass. Yeah, boy!” It’s a huge glass, 23 ounces, with plenty of space for a long message and is a clever, inexpensive commemorative gift. Sometimes the gift is not the thing you want to spend money on, especially if there is an after party to throw. Since, I didn’t get one anyway, I was glad the network decided to spend their promotional dollars on pulled pork sandwiches and red velvet cupcakes.

I’ve got to go and practice my routine. Watching all those comedians was inspiring and I’ve got a set down at Koco’s Koffee Klatch in an hour. Remember, “laughter is the best medicine and you don’t need a prescription.”