Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

I recently dreamt that I was a celebrated bullfighter named Pablo Federico Prometheus Escobeche living in Pamplona. The entire dream was in Spanish, which I don’t speak, so I’m not entirely sure what happened but from what I could piece together, I was on a caliente streak. I was a local hero, taking on bulls the size of small buildings as if they were little more than oversized puppies. I wore a hand made costume with a blood red cape made from the finest silk. I had a long mustache that I was in the habit of twirling while drinking Rioja and smoking imported cigars. I dated a different girl every night of the week and never paid for a meal, as I was a friend to the best restaurateurs in the city. I was living a charmed life and loving every moment…until I was hastily and rather rudely awakened by my rather angry wife. Apparently, I was whispering names like Lola, Perla, Alicia and Gabriella in my sleep. I tried to explain that I was only dreaming but I still spent the rest of the night in the guest room. That’s the last time I watch Telemundo before bedtime.

Truth be told, I’m not sure what the marketing lesson is here because the whole dream was in Spanish, but I do know one thing. If you ever dream that you’re dating a woman other than your beloved you’d better dream that that woman has the same name as your wife or you’ll end up in the doghouse—and on the couch. Oh, and don’t bother trying to explain that a dream is not real and that it doesn’t mean anything and of course you still love her as much as the day you were married and yes, you are still attracted to her and no, you don’t want to be with anyone else. Rational explanations will get you nowhere. I have found that a demonstration of affection is a much better way to dig oneself out of a marital hole. This particular dream cost me a case of Love Custom Chocolates imprinted with my wife’s name. I gave her one a day, every day until I was invited back into the bedroom. Works every time.

I’m off to the annual Marketing Mavens Meet & Greet in Manitoba. Remember, when love is not enough, buy chocolate.