What’s that, soldier!? You hurt your little knee? Fell down and got yourself a little boo-boo, didya? Well ain’t that cute? You want me to bend down and give it a little smooch for ya? Make it all better like mommy used to, you sorry, sissified sack of slop! You make me sick! So ya tripped over an obstacle on the course and got a ‘wittle scwapey-wapey’, big deal! You think the enemy is gonna stop to put two drops of sympathy syrup on your pathetic pout-pancakes? Of course not, so suck it up!
It’s not like we’re back home in the comfort of your mommy’s arms, where you have the luxury of choosing between large varieties of bandages like the ones available through rushIMPRINT. They’ve got a boatload of fancy bandages with plaid and polka-dotted patterns available in custom imprinted cases. Heck, they even carry an entire first-aid kit, loaded with bandages, swabs, first aid cream, pain medication and even a sewing kit! Hey, maybe you can suture up your own little gash! Aw what am I thinking, that’s something that would take guts, courage and willpower, three things of which you are clearly in short supply!
On your feet, private! You’ve got one more chance to prove you deserve to be in my Marine Corps before I soil these well-polished boots of mine on your behind, and then make you re-shine them after the fact and thank me for the opportunity! There ya go, that’s the spirit! Well, heck I don’t what served as a better motivation, my threats of violence or the thought of those custom imprinted bandages embracing that pitiful excuse for a wound of yours. Whatever it was, this nation is in a slightly better position defensively, well, at least until you trip on the battlefield without personalized promotional bandages in your rucksack!