Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

The cosmos contains approximately 50,000,000,000 galaxies, with somewhere near 1,000,000,000,000 stars in each galaxy. Underneath those stars, there are 6,526,685,554 people on earth, which may not mean much to you, until you consider that if the entire population of China were to run past you in single file, you would not live long enough to see the end of the line. It’s a big world and, yet, there is one thing we all have in common, each and every one of us—from Anyang, China to Dakota City, Iowa—we all love the weather. “Just how cold is it going to be…and should I bring a coat.”

We don’t just love it. We’re weather freaks, especially my wife’s side of the family. In fact, my father-in-law was a frustrated meteorologist, who gave up a promising career on Flagstaff, Arizona’s Channel 14…all because a severe hail storm hit in 1973, moments after he called for a “few scattered clouds with mild temperatures in the mid 70’s.”

Everyone told him it wasn’t his fault, but he felt disgraced, and unable to look the town folk in the eye, he eventually moved east, where he retired as a postman, carrying mail through rain, sleet, snow and on sad days, even hail.

I could say I digressed, but since I never really began in the first place…let me just get to it…and tell you I have an item here that is just the right gift for 6.5 billion people, with special Rush Imprint pricing for anything over 2 billion. It’s the High Sierra Tahoe Weather Station. With a sleek modern design, this weather station features an alarm clock with snooze, month/day/year calendar, while displaying temperature in Fahrenheit or Celsius. It also has a powerful LED backlight and a remote thermometer that you can put outdoors, all packaged in a nice gift box from High Sierra.

And, remember, nobody ships to China faster than Rush Imprint.

Well, I’m off to get some pepper. I’ve been trying to convince my son it’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open…and he’s been trying to prove me wrong for a week. Poor kid. Until next time, remember what my father-in-law says, “If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute.”