Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

As I stood in the check out line, I perused the headlines to catch up with my celebrity friends. It seems that most of them were on hand for the TomKat Wedding. The guest list read like a who’s who and who was of Hollywood. I got to thinking, if you take one mega star, add a fresh-faced TV actress, divide by 2.5 kids and subtract one Oscar Winner you get one mega wedding. Multiply J Lo by Marc Anthony; you get Posh Spice and a circus that even Ringling couldn’t top.

All this adding and subtracting got me thinking about the high cost of weddings and since I had promised my wife that we’d renew our vows and take a second honeymoon, I was anxious to do the math. Since my doing long division in my head is akin to Mission Implausible, I was relieved to remember I had the answer at my fingertips.

I reached for my useful mini-calculator key holder, which fits nicely in the pocket of my favorite flat pleat trousers, and is the perfect give- away, keeping your company exactly where it should be, in your client’s pockets. Even in matters of love and marriage, marketing is never far from my heart. Good thing too, since a few short calculations were all it took for me to realize that Mrs. Winston and I were going to have to elope…again.

Well, I’m off to the annual Scientology Bake Off where I plan to win it all with my world famous Baby Suri shaped mini quiches. Until next time, remember the words of Henny Youngman, “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.”