Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

Well folks, it’s going on day three of the Hollywood Writer’s strike and production on several shows is already shutting down. Don’t worry; I will continue writing my column because, as my teen-aged daughter frequently points out, “I am so not Hollywood,” and therefore, I am not prohibited from putting pen to paper or pounding on my keyboard. The Hollywood types walked out on Monday and hit the picket lines while actors and crewmembers were told to report to work or risk being fired. That lasted about a day and a half for many shows since, as they say, “If it ain’t on the page, it ain’t on the stage.” You’d think writers could come up with a more grammatically correct saying. I was also disappointed by the lack of creative writing skill displayed on the picket lines. Most strikers carried signs that simply said, “strike,” in block letters. Sure it gets the point across, but where’s the drama, where is the pathos? I guess they are taking the directive not to write rather literally.

I don’t know about you, but I hope the writers, producers and networks resolve their issues soon because I really want to know what’s going to happen on “Lost” and Mrs. Winston can’t stand to be away from McDreamy and McSteamy for more than a week. If they don’t come to an agreement quickly, many “in the know” predict a strike could last upwards of nine months. Not only will working writers, not to mention actors, gaffers, grips, camera operators, caterers and a myriad of other support people be forced to go on the dole, but America will be relegated to watching even more Reality television. I for one have had enough of brain numbing shows like “I Love New York” and I don’t care what LC, Heidi and Spencer are doing in “The Hills.” I prefer my entertainment to be firmly rooted in fantasy…where it belongs.

I am of the belief that there is almost nothing that cannot be solved with branding, so I have contacted the Writer’s Guild of America and offered my services free of charge. (Plus, I really want to know the secrets of the island.) My first suggestion is that they send the powers that be a Mercury Click Pen imprinted with a powerful message like, “Do the Write Thing” or “The pen is mightier than the sword” to get their point across. This click action pen has a silver metallic barrel with accents in your choice of 5 great colors and the dimpled grip provides a unique look as well as supreme writing comfort. Plus, Rush Imprint can turn around a big order in one day so, when time is of the essence, they are the perfect solution. The bottom line is, everyone loves a free pen so give the people what they want…and maybe they will do the same for you.

Until next time, remember, “When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain.” Or at least that’s what Shakespeare thought.