Virgil Winston: Marketing Guru

Devoted readers have probably noticed my short absence and for that I sincerely apologize. I hate to disappoint my fans and I hope you’ll forgive my recent lapse in posting. I have been on a mall tour with one of my top clients for the past few weeks and, in my travels, have discovered a disturbing phenomenon…shopping malls are the new parks. One mall we visited literally has a kiddy playground, complete with sand and a jungle gym, right in the center of the property. The grassy areas, which I had always assumed were for decoration, were all being used by mall “patrons” for picnicking, lounging and children running amok.

The event I was working on was housed in a temporary glass walled structure with wood floors and tempting stairs. The structure was placed smack dab in the middle of the grassy area and my client and I were shocked to discover that many of the parents view it as an extension of the playground and paid no mind as their children ran up and down the stairs, jumped off the deck and pounded their tiny fists against the glass walls.

I’m a parent myself and I like kids a lot, for a curmudgeon, but I was appalled at the wild behavior on display. My own children wouldn’t dare step out of line for fear of what their mother would do to them once they got back home. And I distinctly remember my own childhood forays into public when my mom would grip my arm as she grit her teeth and threatened to take me to the car if I didn’t shape up. I was so afraid of what terrible fate awaited me at the car that I never actually found out. But it seems that kids today have no such fear. They run wild—screaming, jumping off chairs, climbing scaffolding and generally causing trouble—all with no parental reproach. It’s not that their parents don’t see them misbehaving, they just don’t seem to care.

I don’t want to rant (although I fear it’s too late for that), but why are parents so afraid to say “no” to their kids? I cannot wrap my head around it—probably because my head is still pounding from the tension headaches I suffered form being around so many little monsters. Which brings me to today’s offering, the Pasteur pill case, perfect for holding enough ibuprofen or acetaminophen to cure the worst headache. It’s a great gift for clients too—and when you put your company logo on the top, they are sure to remember you for your ability to cure what ails them.

I hate to rant and run, but I’ve got to finish the last leg of my tour. Until next time, I leave you the words of Samuel Butler, “Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.”